Oh Lord, purify me, make me a chalice in which you dwell, offer your sacrifice in me and spread your love through me. Let me shine like gold, adorn me with the jewels of virtue that I may always be open to you. Fill me. Overflow me. Let me be like that most perfect vessel, the Singular Vessel of Devotion, She to whom I cry for protection against the Evil One. I ask this for your glory, for the vessel is nothing without the sustenance inside, the cup nothing unless it is filled. Oh Lord, purify me.

Give me a word, Abba

Sunday, August 5, 2012

"Sir, give us this Bread always."

There is a strange longing in our hearts and bodies to be satisfied. Something about this life just isn't enough. I just finished two turkey sandwiches and I'm not even close to full. Come 4 o'clock, I will be hungry once again. 
This cycle repeats itself in our lives whether concerning food, drink, a refreshing swim, or our relationships. No matter how many times you kiss your beloved, it does not satisfy your need to love and be loved. There is something about all these experiences that is fleeting but that points to something that is not. Marc Barnes might say Beauty. I might agree.
This experience of something beautiful that doesn’t satisfy but makes one long for a complete unity with the object of the beauty, C.S. Lewis might call Joy. I might agree.
When the Jews said to Jesus, “Sir, give us this Bread always,” Jesus might say that He was this Bread. I might agree. In fact, Jesus Christ is the answer to all these desires: Beauty, Joy, and the Satiating Food.
Oftentimes, we become slaves of our attachment to certain experiences of Beauty or Joy. God frees us from this slavery for a very good reason, even if that means separating us from those experiences for a time. When the Israelites were slaves in Egypt and God freed them, they occasionally desired their state of slavery because of the food they had while in Egypt. They were attached to fleeting satisfaction forgetting the slavery that they were experiencing. 
And God does not leave us in the desert without consolation for long. He showed the Israelites that it was not in slavery that they should search for sustenance, but rather from heaven, from whence came the quail and the manna. 
This is how we are all the time. We seek consolation in our states of slavery, whether through addictions, comforts that make us slothful, or activities which distract us from our proper relationships with people and creation in general. If God wishes to take away these experiences that we enjoy and see as good, could it not be because we are enslaved and He wishes to show us that He is the source of True Enjoyment and Satisfaction?
Some of us experience intense longings which we decide are to be fulfilled in harmful ways. If God says no, we must enter that desert with Him and wait for His manna, or rather for the gift of His Son, the True Manna. 

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